2001 Things To Do Before You Die

Imagine. You've just learned that planet Earth will explode in six months. Or, a virulent parasite is wiping out the chimp population and it's beginning to strike humans--it's sure to be the worst plague in the history of humankind. What ever will you do during your last days on Earth?

Surely you've considered this scenario before. Who hasn't? Just what things should, could, or would you do if you knew your days on this planet were numbered

Then again, maybe you have years to go. There's so much to see, to learn, to give, to do. Where to begin?

Well, here's where. 2,001 Things to Do Before You Die is your fresh start. These ideas range from simple tasks to silly pranks, from charitable deeds to risky feats, from sweeping lifestyle changes to dramatic philosophical transformations, from the mundane to the sublime to the ridiculous.

Some of these ideas are easily achieved, others--or so the cynics will say--are nearly impossible to attain. But it is hoped that this list will inspire you to at, and--yes--to dream. Let it provoke you and prod you. Maybe it will even scare you into action. But for God's sake, use it to get off of your sorry butt and do something!
* * * *

Feel free to check off the entries as you complete them. Of course, exercise your best judgment when picking and choosing which ideas to follow. There are some occasions in life when being careful is a very good idea.

There are some blank spaces at the end of this list for you to add your own ideas. If you come up with anything particularly brilliant, why don't you send it on to The Stonesong Press, LLC, 27 West 24th Street, Suite 510, NY, NY 10010? Who knows, maybe the only thing you do will be to get your contribution in the next printing.

So, come on. Plunge in. Do something wonderful, ridiculous, crazy, or inspiring.

What are you waiting for?
* * * *

Be an extra in a movie

Learn the first five Amendments

See a green iceberg

See the aurora borealis from Denali

Travel at warp speed

Have dim sum for breakfast

Milk a cow

Donate some body parts

Become an eccentric billionaire and run for president

Rent an apartment on the Seine for two months

Catch a foul ball at a professional baseball game

Spelunk

Win the Palme d'Or at Cannes

Have multiple orgasms

Drink a mint julep at the Kentucky Derby

Pay for the next car at the tollbooth

Memorize Hamlet's "What a piece of work is man" speech

Skywrite a message to someone

Reconstruct a dinosaur

Pay off your school loans

Organize a food drive for the needy

Have your immigrant ancestors' names engraved on a plaque at Ellis Island

Get married at Cinderella's Castle at Disney World
I invent nothing, I rediscover.
--August Rodin

Make a religious pilgrimage--to Mecca, Santiago de Compostela, Jerusalem, or Graceland

Master the pregnant pause and a deadpan delivery

Be a riot grrrl

Change your name to have all the letters in lowercase

Flirt

Pay your parents back for college

Read Joyce's Ulysses without a trot

Hang-glide in Chamonix

Have pizza the way it was made in Bronx bars in the 1940s

Watch the sun set on Santorîni

Shake hands with someone famous

Light a candle in the Holocaust Memorial museum's Hall of Remembrance

Swim in each of the Seven Seas

Learn to drive a stick shift

Master the art of letterwriting

Record a duet with Tony Bennett

Throw your panties at Tom Jones

Crush a beer can with one hand

Blow smoke rings

Be able to explain Einstein's theory of relativity

Get a professional makeover

Awake to the sounds of macaws or spider monkeys in a tropical rain forest