Communication Miracles For Couples is a relationship guide written by a psychotherapist, Jonathan Robinson. The main aim of the book is to improve communication between partners and claims to radically improve how couples relate to one another.
This book is filled with handy exercises and tips that are easy to comprehend and apply leading to loving, harmonious marriages. This book promises to teach couples how to communicate without blame, restore shattered trust, and deepen the love between the couple. You can find more information about this book on our list of the best marriage books for couples.
Communicate Using the Three A’s
Reducing the advice to just two main ideas that can change all relationships, including those with loved ones. Idea number one requires the implementation of the three “A’s”: acknowledgment, appreciation, and acceptance.
Applying these three concepts to a relationship is guaranteed to smooth the pathways of interaction and create feelings of being cherished and valued. Being more than a fair-weather friend and being able to apply these principles in the difficult times, is the aim.
The second idea is the creation of a love bank. Communication that enhances the self-esteem of others, will fund the love bank and increase the deposits.
The balance on the love account will be determined by how we conduct our relationships. The aim is to have enough reserve in the love bank account to cover the lean times when things are not going smoothly.
Become a Good Listener
Communication Miracles For Couples book are really simple common-sense ideas that we all need to be reminded of. Learning the skill of communicating without blaming our partners is a sure-fire way to avoid defensive reactions and intensification of grievances. It’s all in the semantics. Choosing the right words and using the right tone can make all the difference.
Robinson suggests that listening to each other is just as important as talking. He suggests tactics for reducing tension, decelerating the pace of arguments, and hearing the words that are being spoken by your partner.
Body language also plays a large part in communication. By simply clarifying what you think the other person has said and asking questions to clarify that understanding, difficult conversations can be conducted with less risk of aggression.
Couples who have communicated their fundamental beliefs to each other, and who regularly update on what is important to them, find that they can solve problems together and not keep stumbling into the same unresolved differences.
Unity is Strength
Remembering that unity is strength, will keep the relationship strong and reduces the opportunity for partners to blame each other when times are tough.
Couples are encouraged to have regular catch-up times when they review their communication and avoid misunderstandings. Some couples like to call this Date Night, or just ensure that they diarize a weekly time for spending exclusively together.
General book reviews of Communication Miracles For Couples are approving of the practical ideas and the many different strategies to choose from. Taking his own advice, Jonathan Robinson has kept the language simple to understand, and reading this book is not going to take up a lot of your time. The short recap at the end of each chapter is a handy place to make notes and fixes the main points in your mind.
There are a few health warnings attached by some reviewers of this book and it is worth mentioning these points in my review.
- Robinson’s advice about creating pacts with your partner should be taken with caution. This strategy could lead to partners feeling as if they have been taken hostage and under pressure to comply or face punishment. This is not a healthy way to conduct a relationship.
- His attempts to advise men on how to soften their language is rather ill-advised as it sounds fake and contrived. It is also insulting to women’s intelligence.
- Communication Miracles For Couples may be a catchy title, but anyone who has been in a relationship for more than five minutes knows that there is no such thing as a miracle cure for all the communication errors that occur between two people. Relationships take lots of hard work and time to become deep and meaningful, so making claims that reading this book is going to a miraculous cure, is untrue. As for never arguing again, I don’t believe that’s possible!
It is not possible to apply everything in this book to the way we communicate in 2020. Times have changed and some of the points are no longer relevant. On the plus side, if you can take away a few strategies that enhance your relationship, then Communication Miracles For Couples book has been worth the read.