I was hard-pressed to find any positive reviews on the book entitled Love And Respectby Dr Emerson Eggerichs, despite it being proclaimed a “best-selling marriage book with more than one million copies sold!” So Why are Reviews of This Book so Harsh?
Based on a Single Bible Verse?
Dr. Emerson Eggerichs based his message on a Biblical verse from the book of Ephesians in the New Testament. Firstly, his claim to have done broad research around this particular verse was not backed up by any evidence. To take a Biblical verse out of the historical context and apply it to relationships in general, is a very dangerous idea.
Marriage guidance is Emerson’s business and he has been building his empire using marriage seminars and the sale of DVDs and books. This has led some readers to be suspicious of his motives and they had the feeling that they were being prompted to buy something from his extensive range of Christian propaganda.
No Idea about Love & Respect
Some readers felt that Love And Respect bookis a contrived attempt to extend the author’s misogynistic views. They believe, from this text, that he is intent on degrading and demeaning women while advocating male dominance. They are of the impression that he is the one who is disrespectful of women and that he believes that women are the source of all problems in a marriage.
Emerson’s main observation about how the Biblical verse plays out in relationships is that couples enter a “Crazy Cycle” when their needs are not being met by their spouse. According to him, women have one driving need: love. And men also have only one driving need: respect. When these needs are not met by each other, the relationship nose-dives and spirals out of control.
Emerson’s wife, Sarah, is fully supportive of her husband’s views and has joined him in his quest to promote this Biblical theory of successful partnerships. They believe that they have found the solution to all relationship problems and that by using this formula, couples can resolve conflict quickly and easily.
That is one mighty big claim! Other critical reviews state that the message of the book is repetitive and could have been condensed into a brief handbook.
Good Communication is Essential in Marriage
Positive book reviews of Love And Respecthave highlighted the fact that the bulk of the text is about good communication in a relationship, thereby building a strong foundation. This can only be a good thing.
Marriage counselors say that the book has been useful in their work and couples have used it as a springboard to be able to talk about their problems in a positive way. Check out more on this topic in our selection of the best marriage books.
All You Need is Love. Really?
Emmerson’s opinion that all women want is love and that it will fulfill all their emotional needs is a hopelessly demeaning assumption to many modern women. The same applies to his antiquated view that men only need respect from a woman.
In today’s society, we know that everybody wants and needs a whole range of factors in an emotionally intelligent marriage or relationship and few believe that this naive dollop of love and respect is going to fix all problems.
Love And Respect book is probably not for you if your belief system, values, and intellect demand a broad and balanced view of how relationships can be improved. Many readers would have appreciated more scientific research to have gone into the writing of the book and the tone to have been more engaging and attentive to the way that modern relationships have evolved.